Rhinoceros Party horns its way into Cariboo-Prince George

Jordan Turner is good with children and he feels that makes him imminently qualified for Parliament.

Jordan Turner is good with children and he feels that makes him imminently qualified for Parliament.

The University of Northern British Columbia student has thrown his hat into the political ring and is running for the Rhinoceros Party in Cariboo-Prince George.

“I’m running in an act of protest,” Turner said, in a press release “I’m getting tired of the excessive number of elections. At $300 million a pop, the bill for the elections will be over $1 billion.”

Turner is finishing the third year of his Bachelor of Commerce degree at UNBC. He also works part-time as a lifeguard, swim instructor, and Aquafit instructor for the City of Prince George. Turner believes that his lifeguard experience will make him well-suited for a Member of Parliament.

“If you’ve ever watched Question Period on TV, you will see a few hundred adults, but from the way they act, you might think that they are a bunch of five-year-old children,” said Turner. “As a lifeguard, I’m basically a babysitter in a water-based environment. Since I am good with discipline and dealing with children, I would be perfect for Parliament.”

The name of the Rhinoceros party emerges from the similarities between a rhinoceros and a politician. Both are thick-skinned, slow-moving and dim-witted, he said.

Turner recently revealed his platform: “My platform is two feet high and made out of the finest Prince George pine. I keep it in my kitchen and use it when I need to reach to the high cupboard above the stove.”

The economy is an important issue in Turner’s campaign, with the security of people’s assets as the top priority. The Rhinoceros Party promises to take major steps to prevent any damage from being caused in a future stock market crash.

“The top priority is to install airbags in the Toronto Stock Exchange,” said Turner. “Airbags are proven to provide safety and protection. Plus, there’s lots of hot air being generated in the House of Commons to fill them up with.”

 

 

Just Posted

Tommy Chong says cannabis legalization makes him proud to be a Canadian

Legendary marijuana advocate and comedian celebrates cultural milestone at Kelowna event

Ocean “Blob” returns to North Coast of B.C.

A 2,000 kilometre patch of warm ocean water could signal a warm winter in Prince Rupert

‘Police are ready’ for legal pot, say Canadian chiefs

But Canadians won’t see major policing changes as pot becomes legal

VIDEO: This is what buying legal pot in B.C. looks like

Take a look inside B.C.’s first and only legal pot shop located in Kamloops

10 things still illegal in the new age of recreational cannabis

Pot is legal – but there are still a lot of rules, and breaking some could leave you in jail

Singer k.d. lang receives Alberta’s highest honour

Celebrated singer-songwriter k.d. lang received the Alberta Order of Excellence in Edmonton

‘Mom, I’m in trouble:’ Canadian faces 10 years for alleged graffiti

Brittney Schneider, another tourist caught spraying message on walls of Tha Pae Gate in Thailand

Feds consulting on national anti-racism strategy behind closed doors

Heritage Minister Pablo Rodriguez says people still face systemic racism in some communities

Enbridge aims for mid-November to finish B.C. pipeline repair after blast

A natural gas pipeline that ruptured and burned near Prince George caused an explosion and fireball

How to get government cheques if Canada Post staff go on strike

The Canadian Union of Postal Workers said members could go on rotating strikes as early as Monday

Anti-SOGI school trustee files defamation lawsuit against BCTF president

Barry Neufeld says Glen Hansman’s words caused him “indignity,” “personal harassment,” and “anxiety”

Pot sales down by nearly 70% on Day 2 of legalization in B.C.

Several products on BC Cannabis Store are still sold out

B.C. jury finds man guilty of Japanese exchange student’s murder

Natsumi Kogawa was found at empty heritage mansion shortly after she was reported missing in 2016

Most Read