The obituary of a woman in Williams Lake is getting some attention, something Cheryl Folden did not get a lot of in life.
Passionately written, Cheryl Folden’s obituary describes a lifetime of pain, strength and the tragic end to someone who, despite what many may have assumed about her, was a kind, intelligent and resourceful woman.
READ MORE: OBITUARY: Cheryl Yvonne Folden
The obituary is a raw and honest description of Cheryl, who struggled with drug addiction, faced periods of homelessness, and was a sexual abuse survivor. It appeared in the Williams Lake Tribune on Feb. 29 and was written and paid for by her friend, Stuart Westie.
He said the writing of the obit flowed easily and he completed it within a half hour, with the exception of the final line, which came from an Ann Mortifee song, which she co-wrote with Valerie Hennell. The song was one Stuart said Cheryl had remarked on when he was playing it, and he thought it a more poetic finish.
While Cheryl’s life story is a tough read, it was one she was open and honest about in life, having shared it with the Tribune herself.
Unfortunately, due to her continued fear for her own safety in speaking about her reports of abuse and rape, and Black Press’s policy about unnamed sources, the story was never put to paper while she was alive. But a third interview had been planned and Cheryl had said she was considering letting her name be included so her story could be shared.
Unfortunately, she never had the chance.
After she died, Stuart asked Cheryl’s son if it was OK for him to share her story, knowing his friend Cheryl no longer had anything to fear from those who had hurt her.
He wrote the powerful tribute, which honours Cheryl while also condemning the system and society which he feels failed her.
Stuart had become Cheryl’s friend after meeting her panhandling outside of a grocery store. He remembered her name and met her again months later. He said she had made an impression on him.
Stuart also then became the man who had provided Cheryl a home after she was evicted from the Hamilton Hotel shelter in April of last year. She had been kicked out for having too much stuff in her room.
He said Cheryl then overdosed as a reaction to being out on the street again, and she called him from the hospital. Not wanting to let her end up back on the street, he picked her up from the hospital and brought her home. While he appreciated his privacy, he had the space and knew he could help.
Cheryl was staying with him in a spare room, and he had continued to encourage her to work on herself and her addiction problems, but despite big improvements, he said she continued to use drugs.
He also advocated for her, and championed her right to have safe shelter and proper treatment for her mental health and addiction problems.
When Cheryl first came to live with Stuart, she was incredibly thin — partly due to having almost no teeth to chew food with, as well as highly mistrustful, and would disappear for days when they would disagree.
He would see her a day or two later, when out on his bike, and would tell her it was her choice to leave, and it could be her choice to come back if she wanted.
She always had.
After the months she had been staying there, Cheryl had gained weight and become more sociable.
On Jan. 8, 2024, having made a virtual doctor’s appointment after experiencing abdominal pain for a couple days, she woke Stuart in the night, distressed.
He called the ambulance and she died while paramedics tried to save her life.
Cheryl is survived by her two sons, whom she spoke of with pride and love when telling her story.
Since her obituary was published, both the Tribune and Stuart Westie have received numerous responses to Cheryl’s story and the impact it had on people.
One of those responses came from Ann Mortifee, the singer and co-writer of Stuart’s favourite song Laurie, a line of which closed out the obituary to his friend Cheryl.
Mortifee said she was profoundly moved.
“We never know how our own life may touch another person’s life,” she wrote him in response and shared the obituary with her co-writer Valerie Hennell.
“We were young idealistic women when we recorded Baptism (the album the song appears on) and now as crones even better understand the importance and power of individual personal action in creating a better world,” Hennell wrote Stuart after reading it.
Cheryl Folden was born on Aug. 13, 1966 and died on Jan. 8, 2024.
Don’t miss out on reading the latest local, provincial and national news offered at the Williams LakeTribune. Sign up for our free newsletter here.